we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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