Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Everyone says I win the strip club
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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