youre lurking in front of me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I will pee on everything he values.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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