I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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