We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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