Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
