p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
