its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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