420 ftw
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
