Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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