My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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