it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
