oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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