My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
