kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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