I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
