Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i out mim tonsoeep
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
