Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she told me i tasted like america
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
