remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
