if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
