she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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