apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
