look no pants
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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