masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I AM VODKA MAN
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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