so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
