god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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