I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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