3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
