what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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