elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize