Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize