this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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