i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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