dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize