apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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