i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
