My first STD was from a foam party
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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