it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize