my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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