There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
