Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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