They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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