my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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