Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
