PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
