its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
