You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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