dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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