Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
