Duck Duck Cougar?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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