My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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