I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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