If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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