you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
