Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
