I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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