If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
