I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
