Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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