babies were throwing up all over the place
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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