the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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