I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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