So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
